MY DOG IS INSANE

IT IS ONLY THE SECOND DAY OF 24-HOUR PUPPY PATROL

DUNCAN WILL BE THE DEATH OF ME

Yes well.

Let's try this again.

Me: Yes, I am really getting the hang of this tablet thing! This is totally the best thing I have done entirely on the computer!
Photoshop: [SUDDEN DEATH]

At least I grabbed a screenshot before it shut down completely. :(

If you love dinosaurs, as everyone should, you might want to check out jesscandraw. I sort of went on a dino-frenzy tonight.

Another politics-related fuckup that is more hilarious fail than rage inducing: "John McCain is kind of like Jesus Christ on the cross."

whaaaaaaaat

double whaaaaat

I do not even know where to begin on this one.

I am obviously an unfit dragon mother. Oh well, I can just look at everyone else's babies.

In a few minutes I'm going to my Short Story class, and there I will turn in my last story. Tomorrow I give a presentation in Anthropology, and other than a couple more reading responses, that is my last assignment.

"Wow, Jess! What will you do with your free time?" Well, internet, I'd like to say I will be packing and cleaning and being a kind and virtuous person. But really, I'll probably just dick around watching bad movies and bothering the hell out of hydr0phobia.

I know, my life is pretty damn glamorous.

Actually, I may start getting off my ass and figuring out websites and business cards and portfolios. That would be an excellent use of my time. But the safe bet is still on dicking around.

DON'T YOU JUDGE ME.

JUST CLICK IT.


ETA this one was an accident

My adventures in healthcare continue to be gross and traumatic, and I do not want to talk about them. But there's nothing that happens to me that isn't my body falling apart in some strange new way!

Luckily, Iron Man came out, so I can talk about that instead.

Iron Man: IT'S SEXY. Oh my God. I did not think it was possible for me to have a bigger celebrity crush on Robert Downey Jr.! BUT I CAN. Thank you, Robert Downey Jr, for making me hot for Tony Stark. Thank you, and damn you.

... Seriously?

* Dodger is now known as Duncan

LOOK AT THAT FACE.

LOOK AT IT.

HOW COULD WE RESIST.

His name is Dodger and he likes socks, licking people, and peeing on things.

by Jessica R., age 21

1. Wake up too early.
2. Go to Allstate for estimate on car damage.
3. It is raining.
4. Like, really fucking hard.
5. Go to Blockbuster to rent movie for reference.
6. TORNADO CONDITIONS. Trapped in Blockbuster.
7. After weather gets ... mildly less terrifying, go to comic shop.
8. Fail to find any comics you want.
9. CRAMPS.
10. Realize you have rented the wrong movie.
11. Whine on the internet.

Dear self,

Stop reading about diseases on the internet. You do not have any of them. You will probably never have any of them. Jesus Christ, me, get over it.

Love,
Jessica

Making a CD with 15 covers/remixes of the same song: pathetic or GENIUS?

Anon Meme

uhhh please don't blow up in my face

Dear brain,

I'm not complaining. It was a fun ride. But, really, that epic dream about a time-traveling Hannah Montana guest starring on Saved By The Bell? And also having to fight the mafia? I just. I gotta know. Where the fuck did that come from.

Hugs n kisses,
Jess